A focus (not resolution) for the new year

Looking back at the resolutions I set for myself at the beginning of this year, I can't give myself much of a good grade. I think the only thing I did consistently was post on this blog every month. I posted occasionally on my creative writing blog and I did end the school year with some patience left (sort of), but not much else got checked off, or at least not consistently. So instead of making specific resolutions for this next year, I've been thinking about having a focus, instead. Over Christmas I reflected a lot of what's really important and I really feel like relationships and people are what count more than our fitness level or exercise regime. So that's my unspecific focus for the year - people. People that matter to me, people who are far away, people who I might not talk to very often. I want to reconnect and connect a little deeper. Spend quality time, even if it's just a phone call with a friend I haven't seen in months. I realize this will take me a little out of my comfort zone - I'm a homebody who is almost always content to stay in and put things like phone calls or hanging out off. This year, I'm going to try to be better at staying in touch and being involved. There are no specific deadlines or numbers involved, just what I hope will be little steps toward becoming a better, more compassionate person. Wish me luck!

Christmas, parts 1 through 5

Somehow, Christmas has come and gone and I still feel like I'm trying to catch my breath. The last two weeks have been crazy, wonderful, stressful, and lots of fun. All part of December's magic! Christmas really came in several parts this year, so I've cataloged it accordingly.

Christmas, part 1
First of all, now that Christmas is over, I can finally reveal what I've been doing with my free time over the last three months. Every spare moment I had, while Tim was doing math and we were watching "Stargate", I was working on quilts to give as Christmas presents. Not one or two or even three; we're talkin' EIGHT quilts!

In what is quickly becoming a tradition of "go big" when it comes to projects, this all started with the idea of making a quilt for Tim's parents with all his siblings' help. Then it multiplied and we bought sheets at IKEA, gratefully accepted sheets from my parents (who had no idea they were going to get them back), and got to work! The total count: 1 king-sized quilt (400 squares), 3 queen-sized quilts (765 total squares), 1 twin (165 squares), one half-twin (70 squares), and two baby quilts (60 squares total). It was so much work and made December extra-specially stressful, but I kind of love how all the quilts turned out. Never again, but it was fun this once.

Christmas, part 2
Tim's parents and newly-returned-home-from-a-mission-younger-brother Mike came to stay with us for Christmas which meant we hosted Christmas Eve and Christmas day for all of Tim's family at our house. We had everyone together for the first time in two years and it was wonderful! For Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, we had Tim's parents and his four unmarried brothers sleep over. So much fun! I'm lucky to have so many great brothers now.



Christmas, part 3
Then later in the day, Tim's grandma came over as well as his married brothers with their families and the real party began! There were fifteen of us in our little apartment, including two semi-cranky toddlers, but we made it work. We had a massively wonderful dinner and lots of time to chat and play, exactly as Christmas should be.



Christmas, part 4
The next morning, Tim and I drove up to my parents' house for "Second Christmas" with my family (no photos, sorry). We got to open our gifts from them and watch them open our gifts (they were so surprised by the quilts!). Then came the biggest Christmas surprise of all: Mom and Dad told us that their friends, the Wagners, who know about my dad's health situation with the cancer and all, had offered to fly all of us to Hawaii for a week. HAWAII!!! For a WEEK!!! We couldn't believe it! I actually started crying, it was such an overwhelming moment. We picked our dates for the first week of March and by the end of the day, we had flights booked! I still can't believe it; it was definitely the Christmas miracle none of us expected!

Christmas, part 5
After spending half of the day after Christmas with my family, Tim and I drove back to our house for "Second Christmas" with the Herrick fam. Brian and Erika are some of Tim's psuedo-siblings and they drove up to be with the family, so we celebrated with everyone all over again. Christmas is so much fun when there are little kids to watch open their presents. Sarah's face was priceless!

Christmas just kept going and going, full of surprises and lots of great family time. Next year I am definitely going to try to schedule fewer parties and events so we can take more time to enjoy December. I feel like I'm still trying to recover from having so many people over but luckily, I've got time to do that. Merry merry Christmas!

Time to celebrate

Today's post brought to you by: the End of Finals, with support and additional funding by the End of the Semester and Christmas Break!

Not only is Tim done with school for almost a month, we are pretty sure he passed his Calculus class. And not only did he pass this Calculus class, he is done with taking Calculus...forever. And not only is he done with the semester and with Calculus, he started a new job today!

Tim is now a contract employee for Novell with more hours, better pay, and a much more secure work environment. He was nervous about starting a new job, but I know he's going to be amazing. And the best part is that he gets to work with my best friend Natalie's husband Dave! Is that too perfect or what? We consider it our own little Christmas miracle, except that compounded with the passing of the math class, it's not such a little miracle.

I'm so proud of Tim for working so hard (and usually very late into the night) to get a passing grade in Calculus all on his own. I knew he could do it and it feels so good to be done. And I'm so grateful that he's worked hard to be as skilled and knowledgeable as he is so that when these job opportunities come up, he's ready to take them.

Happy start of Christmas break! Let the celebrating really begin!

My very own Joseph

Instead of a Christmas party this year, our ward decided to do a musical program, a cantata of sorts. I was put on the planning committee and I volunteered to help with the music thinking it would be nice and easy. Mistake! It was so much work! I ended up putting together several small group numbers, picking songs for the Primary and Young Women to sing, coordinating who would play for the congregational hymns, etc. It was crazy! Plus I was asked to play "The Holy City" as an organ/piano duet with another girl in the ward, which turned out to be a really cool song, but was also a lot of work to practice.

In addition to all the music, people from the ward were asked to be the Nativity characters, including my own Tim who was asked to be Joseph, mainly because he can grow a beard. Seriously. He shaved the day before they asked him and they were very disappointed, but he told them not to worry, a month was plenty of time to grow it all back and then some. And boy howdy, did he.


He looked so good! So completely the part of Joseph. I was clearly not asked to be Mary (I'm very much the wrong color) but everyone looked perfect for their parts. I ended up taking over as a sort of stage manager the night of the program too, making sure the Nativity characters went out at the right times and helping them look good in their groupings. It all turned out really, really well but I'm quite relieved it's all over.

Good work Tim! Way to grow a beard!

Disappointment

Today's musings: Disappointment has its own particular sting, one that goes deep. Disappointments are what break your heart. They are what break mine, anyway. Sometimes I get sad over the silliest things, like when a random minor character in a movie has the ice cream fall off his cone onto the floor of the car. Sure, because of that he hits a dumpster which almost kills the main character which leads to boy meets girl and the rest of the movie; what of it? Did you hear what I said? His ICE CREAM fell on the FLOOR. He paid money for that ice cream cone and was looking forward to eating it, but he now can't. That is just so sad to me.

Today was like dropping ice cream. Or like wearing a new pair of leggings, tripping on the sidewalk at recess, and ripping a huge hole in one knee which makes the leggings unwearable after that. (Yes, that one did happen to me, and yes, it still makes me sad.) The specifics don't matter; today life is just...not fair. And sometimes, not fair really hurts. I know I'll be okay; that's part of what makes disappointment so unbearable. It doesn't last and usually the things that disappoint you are pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. But at this moment? I'm still sad.

One of my favorite hymns is "Be Still My Soul" and one of my very favorite lines is in the third verse:

Be still, my soul: the hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

It makes me think about this season and why we celebrate. We don't just celebrate because Christ was born; we celebrate because He overcame everything to help us through our disappointments. Because of Him, disappointment will someday be gone, no matter how stinging it is in the moment. Even though I need to be sad today, I know my hurts won't last, and that is something that I am truly grateful for.

Christmas spirit overload

For whatever reason, I have been SUPER excited for Christmas this year, even more than usual. So excited, in fact, that I started listening to Christmas music the week of Thanksgiving. Not just after Thanksgiving, but the week of! And we got out our Christmas decorations the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I usually make it a point to wait until it is officially December, but not this year. I don't know if it's because I have been doing some Christmas crafting or because I finished editing our Christmas-themed magazines in October, but I am absolutely in the Christmas spirit already. Sometimes Christmas comes and goes so quickly that I feel like I missed it by the time January rolls around, so I am determined to really enjoy every minute of this holiday season.

And in that spirit, we already have our tree up. Both Tim and I love real trees, so we make it work to fork over the money every year. (Last year we cut down our own tree, and though I would have repeated that experience, the rest of my family vetoed.) And since the Herrick family is spending Christmas with us, we thought it only fitting that the brothers waking up here on Christmas morning should get to participate in the tree-decorating too.

Before we got started:


These boys can be so silly sometimes...


It took three of them to put on the lights: Christian to throw the lights on the tree, Tim to place them carefully, and Rob to carry the slack. It was a three-ring circus right in our living room, especially when Tim got dizzy from staring at the tree while moving in a circle and fell over.


With all of us (and Matt) decorating, it got done really quickly and the results were simply lovely:



And then inspired by the projects I work with for our magazines, Tim and I made this easy wreath for our door:


We got the ornaments from IKEA and just used an old white wire hanger we had around the house. Very easy, and the ribbon at the top is the same ribbon we wrapped around the tree for a nice coordinating touch.

I love the twinkling lights and special traditions and keepsake decorations that mean Christmas. I love the music and the smells and the projects. I love spending time with my family and I love all the goodness and kindness that this season celebrates. And believe me when I say, I am going to celebrate!

Thanksgiving, The Second

After eating our weight in delicious food with Tim's family last Sunday, we went up to my parents' house on the actual Thanksgiving to celebrate all over again! Everyone contributed part of the meal, which was fun and a little strange - I'm still getting used to being a grown up and having my siblings be grown ups too. The table was beautiful, the dinner delicious, and all the relaxing and lounging absolutely perfect.






I am always grateful for my family, but spending lots of time with them reminds me how very lucky I am. I'm so in love with my wonderful husband and so aware of how blessed with are to be housed, employed, healthy, comfortable, and together. My life is so full of good things! Happy happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving, The First

I've learned a lot about hosting Thanksgiving Dinner since two years ago when we hosted Tim's family's Thanksgiving in our little apartment the first time. This year, we had our first Thanksgiving dinner with Tim's family yesterday (the Sunday before Thanksgiving) while his parents were in town and I think things went much more smoothly this time around, particularly because other people brought some of the food. And really helped clean up. And it was just the one evening, so there was a limit to how crazy we could get. I really do love having everyone over and getting to spend time with the whole family, though. It's always hard to get so many people in one place at the same time, but it's so much fun when we pull it off!





This time I learned that no matter how you try to entertain toddlers, nothing will be as appealing as what they can't have. (Okay, so I learned that before, but it was reinforced.) I learned that 11 adults and 2 babies can fit in our living room, but it's still as crowded as when there were 15 adults (like last time). And I learned and am still learning how to let go of control when that many people are around. It's not a bad thing to have tons of family over, especially when that family is so considerate and conscientious about helping tidy up, but if I can relax, worry less, and remember that everything can be cleaned, it's a much better experience for all.

Birthday (Murder) Madness

I've said it before and I'll say it again: we throw the best birthday parties. I didn't have much to do with the planning or execution of this particular party, but it was awesome.

There were Werewolves...


Humans...


Mages...


Faeries...


and Vampires.


In short, it was a Murder Mystery game of epic proportions. It was very different from any other Murder Mystery game I've ever played but it was also a ton of fun! People were killed:




We had a very menacing ghost policing the activities:


And there was cake:



What more could you ask for?

Happy birthday Christian! I hope you had as much fun as we did!

Four week challenge

So sometimes I do random things just because I can. I'm very silly like that. Or maybe I just like a challenge. In either case, for the last four weeks, I challenged myself to wear a different pair of shoes every day. I have way too many shoes, but most of them serve a specific purpose so I just can't get rid of them. I thought that if I had to wear them all, it might help me discover if there were any that could go. There weren't, but it was still fun and very hard to wear a different pair every day! I mostly ran into trouble with the heels, but I only blistered my feet once so all in all, pretty good.

The night I met Emma Lou Thayne

I wish I could have taken all of my friends, sisters, and cousins to Salt Lake with me tonight. I wish they could have listened to the passionate, educated, informed women who shared their insights and opinions in such articulate and moving ways. I wish they could have felt as empowered, enriched, and inspired as I did when I left Salt Lake feeling motived to do more, be more, write more.

Tonight the Mormon Women Project hosted their second annual Salon ("salon" in the old fashioned sense of intellectuals meeting to discuss and exchange ideas, not a place to get your hair done) in Salt Lake and I registered for it kind of on a whim. I found out about it through the Segullah blog and was intrigued by the promise of enlightening conversation and Emma Lou Thayne as the keynote speaker. (Emma Lou Thayne wrote the words to the LDS hymn "Where Can I Turn for Peace?" as well as fourteen books of prose and poetry.) My mom has instilled a love of Emma Lou Thayne in me since I was old enough to hero-worship someone, so I invited her to come with me. We were both blown away by the openness of the dialogue and the depth of thought and feeling. The Salon was something between a seminar and a women's conference, a blend of the spiritual, intellectual, and practical. We were all there as Mormon women striving to live fuller, richer lives and that's what it was all about - how to do that.

Emma Lou Thayne's keynote address was witty, moving, wonderful, and gave me all kinds of thoughts to ponder. During a break in the evening while everyone was getting food, my mom saw Emma Lou standing by herself for a moment. "Do you want to meet her?" she asked, grabbing my hand.

"Well, yeah..." I said, reluctant to put myself forward, but my mom was already pulling me across the room. Mom had met Emma Lou Thayne more than once so she didn't hesitate to ask if she remembered her and begin a conversation.

"This is my daughter," my mom introduced me. "She's going to be a writer."

"Oh, really?" Emma Lou asked, genuinely interested in this information.

"I am a writer, Mom," I smilingly corrected, a little embarrassed at giving myself a title I don't know if I've earned when I was standing next to someone who had fourteen published books.

But Emma Lou, gracious and kind, didn't miss a beat. "Oh, it's a wonderful life," she told me. "You get to travel and meet so many interesting people."

I nodded, the excitement of meeting her making my head bounce a little too much.

"Write," Emma Lou said to me, her eyes looking straight into mine. "Just write. Don't let anything stop you."

The conversation continued as my mom and Emma Lou remembered shared experiences and women's retreats of years past. I listened, in love with the moment and repeating to myself Emma Lou's words. Write. Just write. I took them into my heart and felt the possibility of my talents toss their heads, paw at the ground, and stand a little taller. Don't let anything stop you.

It was an incredible evening, but I think that moment with Emma Lou Thayne was the highlight. It wasn't just the excitement of meeting someone I admire artistically, but meeting someone I admire who was also so accessible. There was nothing pretentious or pretended about her; she was completely herself, totally authentic. It was only a few minutes and I mostly just listened to her talk to my mom, but in that one moment, she managed to focus on me and not only encourage me to write, but make me feel like my words are worth writing. I haven't felt that in a long time, and I walked away from that moment in a haze of glorious aspirations.

More than anything, I wish that I could give some of Emma Lou's self-assured yet totally unassuming confidence to all the women in my life, including (and maybe especially) myself. That kind of gift would be absolutely priceless. Everyone, mark your calendars for next year; we're all going to go be inspired together.

New office

The last two weeks have been kinda crazy at work. Well, more than two weeks, and more than kinda. We moved offices which doesn't sound like a big deal, but then you take into consideration all the coordinating it takes to get the heat turned on and the phones hooked up and the internet working and power outlets for all the computers that need them, and it gets a little overwhelming. And in the meantime, I was trying to get some actual work done (didn't really happen).

But we are settled now and I like my little cubicle space. I definitely miss my office with a window, but it's very well lit in these new offices which is a HUGE plus. And now that the heat's on, I'm much warmer than I was sitting next to a large window. We're still adjusting to the different set up and I still can't send emails from my work email (we switched servers...don't even get me started), but I think I'm going to like it here.

Some pictures:

My desk


My desk, the door to the photography studio, and Jen's desk


The submissions room - gotta admit, I'm glad I don't share an office with all of this anymore!

This is Halloween

Maybe I don't get into Halloween like other people do because we don't need a holiday as an excuse to dress up. Be that as it may, we do enjoy using Halloween as one of those excuses. I mostly just enjoyed getting to wear my Jane Austen dress again!






Happy Halloween!