Small Victories

The job search continues, my house still needs to be cleaned, summer is going too fast, and July is nearly over. And yet today, I am content.

Starting next week, I'll be teaching an ACT prep class once a week with Sylvan Learning. It's not going to pay any bills, but it does pay it is a teaching job! I think it's going to be a great experience, and I'm pretty dang excited. I have a huge binder to create my lessons from and I'm a little nervous, but mostly, I count this as a victory.

Another small victory came in the mail yesterday: a check in my name from Sunstone Magazine, where I have an essay being published sometime next year. (I would post it for y'all to read, but I have a feeling that might be some kind of copyright infringement...I'll find out.) Aside from being glad for the extra money, I was giddy when I realized that I have officially been paid...to write. Let me say that again:

I got paid for my writing.

!!!!!!

I still don't count myself a professional by any means, but I do feel a little more secure about calling myself a writer. I'm not just someone who writes. I'm someone who gets paid to let other people read my writing. It's such a small victory, but you know what? I'll take it.

This one's for me. Cheers!

Good Weekend

Sometimes all you need for a good weekend is a little red nail polish:


Throw in some new shorts and a game of mini-Uno...


...and time with my favorite people...



...at a parade...






...and you've got a pretty darn good weekend. Of course, then you throw in Modern Family and time with more of my favorite people (forgot to take pictures) and a lazy Sunday, and it gets even better.

Happy 24th of July!

Word(s) of the Day

impedimenta \im-ped-uh-MEN-tuh\, noun:
1. Baggage or other things that retard one's progress.
[2. (Harry Potter) Incantation for stopping or slowing the progress of a person or object.]

shivaree \SHIV-uh-ree\, noun:
1. A mock serenade with kettles, pans, horns, and other noisemakers given for a newly married couple.
2. An elaborate, noisy celebration.

scuttle \SKUHT-l\, verb:
1. To run with quick, hasty steps; scurry.
2. To sink (a vessel) deliberately by opening seacocks or making openings in the bottom.
noun:
1. A deep bucket for carrying coal.
2. A short, hurried run.
[3. A character in Disney's The Little Mermaid.]

malapert \MAL-uh-purt\, adjective:
1. Unbecomingly bold or saucy.

muliebrity \myoo-lee-EB-ri-tee\, noun:
1. The state of being a woman.

sesquipedalianism \ses-kwi-PEED-l-iz-uhm\, adjective:
1. Given to using long words.
2. (Of a word) containing many syllables.

defenestrate \dee-FEN-uh-strayt\, transitive verb:
1. To throw out of a window.

tarradiddle \tair-uh-DID-uhl\, noun:
1. A petty falsehood; a fib.
2. Pretentious nonsense.

And my favorite one of all...

nebbish \NEB-ish\, noun:
1. A weak-willed, timid, or ineffectual person.

Life Update (because it seems like a good time for one)

Another crazy weekend here in Summer-ville. Yesterday I hosted a baby shower for one of my best friends from high school, Shelly; went to a baby shower for one of my college roommates, Brittney; and went to/hosted an engagement party for my recently engaged and 5-weeks-away-from-getting-married friend from high school, Kellianne. For some reason, I have not had any photo-taking instincts lately, so I didn't take any pictures at all yesterday. So sad. But I had a great time seeing so many friends and their cute kids and getting a chance to catch up with everyone.

Tim was a champ through it all. He helped me make desserts, he cleaned the living room, he helped make chicken salad sandwiches, and then he inconspicuously disappeared while the baby showering was going on. Bless him. I am so lucky to have someone who is so willing to help and be patient with all the crazy things his wife schedules.

Friday was my last day of work at the real estate office (woohoo!) and so now the job of finding a job will commence in earnest, now that I will finally have time to devote to the search. Tim has some really good leads for jobs on campus, and I've got some part-time work to tide us over, so we're hopeful that things will be fine until we find some jobs (hopefully soon). Some days the pressure to find a job and find a way to provide for ourselves is enormous. It's the size of two elephants, that's how big the pressure is. But Tim keeps reminding me that we're going to be fine, to trust, to have faith, etc. Again, Tim is amazing for putting up with me and my moods.

I've never really had to look for a job before, except last year when I came back from Pittsburgh. But even then, I got the first job I interviewed for, so this experience with looking and looking and applying and not getting the jobs I want has been something of a new experience for me. I've discovered what I'm sure many people have discovered before me: that part of what makes job hunting hard is that you are putting the very best of yourself out there--on paper, in letters, in interviews--and yet, no one wants to hire you. It's so hard to keep your confidence up and continue to promote yourself as The Best For The Job. It's also difficult just to play the game. You try to tailor yourself to specific jobs, and then you just feel like you're lying. You try to be honest about your weaknesses and feel like you've disqualified yourself. It almost feels like gambling--just making your best guesses and judgments and hoping that you win eventually.

Ah, well. It's a good challenge, this job thing. It's frustrating and rewarding and time-consuming, just as most worthwhile things in life are. Like planning parties or getting married or having kids. Or, in other aspects of my life right now, like learning to sew or organizing your house or setting up a budget. Frustrating and part of life. Good things, all.

Letters I've been meaning to send

Dear Job That I Currently Have and Dislike,

We are so over. I will not miss you when we're completely through. Yes, we had our good times, but there were some bad times too. Lots of them. Most of them, in fact. You were demanding, confusing, difficult, contradictory, and had expectations that were entirely too high. If you wanted to expect that much of me, you should have given more back. The effort in this relationship was all on one side.

I know you'll go on without me, and I'm glad. I'm moving on too.

Disregards,
Kate


Dear Elusive New Job That's Perfect For Me,

Where are you? I'm looking for you everywhere. I know you're out there, waiting for me too. I think I love you already. This isn't just a rebound--I'm in it to stay. I'll be true to you as long as you treat me how I deserve. And I promise I'll do my best to leave the emotional baggage from my last job at home.

I want you to know that I'm not picky. I don't care where you are or what you look like--I just want to find you. I can wait if you need some time, but don't forget that I'm here.

Your trying-to-be-patient,
Kate


Dear Temporary Part-Time Jobs,

I adore you. All of you. Thank you for being there for me and getting me through this rough patch. You are amazing, and you have the best sense of timing. I owe you, I really do.

All my gratitude,
Kate

Crazy Summer Catch Up Game

Lots of stuff happening as of late, and lots of ideas of what to write about, but no time (see above: lots of stuff happening). So, just to recap:

Rachel came home from Nepal!


Tim and I celebrated our first anniversary by going to Torrey (where we went on our honeymoon)!



Rob, Paul, and Tim worked really hard and got our mattress off the ground! (Pictures to come once they get it completely finished.)

Tim and I went to California for Addison's baby blessing and the 4th of July and for some all-around good times!


It's been a good couple of weeks. Good to spend time with Tim and be in Torrey, great to see our California family and spend some time with them. Now we are home and tired and glad to get life back in order. Or at least try to. Wish us luck! (And stay tuned for more...)

Some days...

Sometimes, there are days when the pressure of all the Things You Have To Do just overwhelms you until you want to throw up. Sometimes no matter how many times you calculate and subtract and divide, there aren't enough hours to even just breathe. There are days when the weight of your stress makes you want to sit in a corner and cry, even though you know that won't help in the slightest.

I've been having a lot of those days lately. To be honest, it's every day. Feeling like I'm going to throw up, crying for no reason or a lot of reasons, being stressed to the point of distraction. I know why I'm stressed--I keep a list--but it's been frustrating to feel like no matter what I do, the list won't get any shorter. It's going to drown me no matter how hard I keep kicking.

But then there are days that people love you and make you laugh and understand that you're stressed without saying anything. Days when your husband and brothers make you a bed frame so you can get your mattress off the floor, and your sister and best friend make dinner and clean your kitchen, and even though you are in a cranky, crappy mood and have to isolate yourself away from everyone to do your homework and the ward newsletter and can't help with anything, they understand. They don't make you feel guilty--that feeling comes from only you--and they overlook your bad mood. And then they make you laugh, which is perhaps the kindest thing they could ever do.

Being stressed out like I have been is very lonely. You feel like you alone have to do it all and you alone know how much you have to do. But then there are days when people remind you that they remember what you have on your plate without you saying anything and they understand your stress. And that is the best feeling of all. After that, the things on The List are still there, but they weigh a little less.

So to the people who did not shun me for the palpable feeling of panic I was exuding yesterday, thank you. I love you all. And I promise to be in a better mood the next time I see you.