How do you measure a year of your life?

(Warning: Major sappiness ensues. Read at your own risk.)

Dear Tim,

Happy Anniversary! I can't believe it's been a year--it went so fast and so slow at the same time. The last year has been...well, you know how it's been. Wonderful and stressful and hard and so much fun at the same time. Thank you for listening and learning and working with me to make it through all these months, and for being patient with me and my emotions. I'm glad the year is over, but I wouldn't have missed it or traded it for anything.

This time last year, we were running around trying to get ready for the Big Day tomorrow. I don't remember much about the 25th, except the stress and tears that were always just beneath the surface. But from the minute I woke up on the 26th, I was only happy, and that feeling never left. I remember a lot of things from that day, but you and your smile are most clear in my mind: meeting you at the temple, sitting together and waiting in the Celestial room (and waiting, and waiting), singing together at the luncheon, laughing in the rain as the storm finally broke over our reception. Even while I was hugging other people and taking pictures and smiling my face off, I was always most conscious of you and your happiness. Thank you for such a joyful day.

I love you so much! My life is so much better with you in it. Thank you for loving me so completely! I love you too, and I can't wait to start the next year of our life together. We're not perfect people, but we are perfect together.

Love,
Your Kah-tay

To Nepal and back...minus an appendix

Sometimes life is just so crazy, you try to write about it while it's happening and then something else happens and you have to start all over. I've been wanted to post on here about my sister Rachel's adventures in Nepal, but everytime I thought I was ready to put it all down on paper, something else happened. Like anaphylactic shock. Or appendicitis. You know, whatever. Little things like that.

Rachel was in Nepal for just three weeks (out of an originally planned seven) to volunteer at a non-profit daycare center and an orphanage; two weeks in, she was in the hospital getting her appendix removed and a week later, she was home, one organ lighter and eight pairs of shoes heavier (they are beautiful shoes though, so I can't blame her). For those three weeks, pretty much all my family talked about was Rachel, how she was doing, what she was doing, etc. I read her blog every morning as soon as I got on the computer, and every morning I had to hold back my emotions as I tried to imagine what she was experiencing: intense poverty beyond our comprehension, stories of tragedy that were just the way of life there, strange foods, an unfamiliar language, and a complete absence of friends or family or support of any kind. And as her reports trickled in of sickness, getting hit by a motorcycle, ripping open her thumb, getting a 2-inch splinter in her foot, going into anaphylactic shock, and finally, appendicitis, it just seemed surreal.

Rachel also had some amazingly good experiences. She was able to go to the orphanage (that she's been in touch with for almost a year now) for only a few hours, but during that time she met with the girls that she's loved and cared about for months. She came away with a rock-solid determination to do everything she can to help them from here, and after seeing the pictures and hearing their stories, I want to do everything I can to help them too. Rachel has always been driven by a desire to help people. She has such a big heart, and other people's experiences and sorrows affect her deeply. I can tell that caring for the children of Orchid Garden and OCAYHN is going to be her life's work.

In some ways, I am still processing Rachel's adventures, as I'm sure she it too. What is amazing to me is how her one-on-one contact with the children she met has affected all of our family already. We care too, and I think that we have learned with Rachel to appreciate the luxuries we have and recognize our responsibility to do what we can to help other people. It's overwhelming to think of the millions of people in the world who are suffering, but to find one group of children that you know you can help makes the desire to do so even stronger.

I've also come away from the last few weeks with a stronger testimony, as strange as that may sound. There were several times when Rachel could have died on her trip, very literally, and yet I know she was protected and saved by heavenly powers. It was a welcome reminder that Heavenly Father really does watch over all his children at all times. Not that I ever forget or doubt that, it's just nice to have it so forcefully (and gratefully) confirmed.

I highly recommend reading Rachel's blog (rachelgoestonepal.blogspot.com) to get a fuller sense of her trip. I'm so proud of my sister for being brave enough to go and loving enough to come away with a purpose and not just bitterness. And also, I'm very, very glad she's home.

Some pictures from her blog:

Happy Birthday Addison!

I am an aunt!!! My very first niece was born early this morning, and even though I am two states away and won't be able to go down to California for a couple of weeks, I am so excited! Congratulations Scott and Chelsea!!! Addison was born around 5:00 am, 7 lb 11.5 oz, 20 in. and lots of dark hair. She's absolutely beautiful. I wish I had pictures to share, but alas, those will have to wait until the aforementioned trip. Her nickname is Biscuit (long story), and I have a feeling that's what we're going to be calling her for quite a long time.

I want to take this opportunity to say that though I love talking about pregnancy and birth and newborns right now and am interested in any and all details surrounding those topics, I am not pregnant. Nor do I want to be anytime soon. There are days when I just feel surrounded by friends who are pregnant and having babies and raising kids, and occasionally, I feel very left out. I can't wait to have my own kids, to see what they look like (it's anyone's guess how my genes and Tim's genes will mesh), to stay at home and be a mom and watch Tim be a dad. But the truth is, I can wait because now is not the right time, and it probably won't be the right time for quite a while. Which is sad, considering I'm already sick of well-meaning people (all of whom I love) asking me if I'm pregnant, if I'm thinking about it, if I'm baby hungry.

So, to answer these questions: no; all the time but not seriously; and yes, but it doesn't take much until I'm full. Believe me, when I'm ready to start having kids, you're all going to hear about it. Just be patient. And enjoy baby Addison in the meantime.

Modern Family

Claire: What did we say would happen if he shot someone? You...shoot him.
Phil: We were serious about that?
Claire: Yes, we were, and now you have to follow through.
Luke [crying]: I'm sorry!
Claire: Liar.
[Luke stops crying]
Alex: Shoot him now.
Claire: No, he's got a birthday party, you'll have to shoot him after.
Phil: I can't, I'm showing a house at two.
Alex: Then after that.
Claire: No, he's got a soccer game at three and then...[looking at the calendar] we have that dinner at five...You could shoot him at 4:15. [Writing on the calendar] Shoot...Luke...
Luke: Awww...
Phil: Sorry buddy, it's on the calendar.

Summer rain

Last Sunday as we left from our Maryon Family Home Evening, we watched the storm clouds roll in as the sun went down, dark and low but colored with a peach glow from the sunset. They were huge clouds, thick and puffy, and the sky was gorgeous even with the threat of impending rain. It was exactly the way the storm clouds looked on June 26th of last year when they rolled over our reception and rained us out. All this week, as the clouds have come and rained and cooled us even though we're almost halfway through June, I've been reminded of that evening and I can't help but smile at the June rain.

If we'd had our reception an hour earlier, we probably would have avoided the rain. We had everything set up and tents ready to throw over things if needed. The stereos lining the side of the house were covered with plastic, and we gave out assignments to all our brothers and sisters to grab the pictures, flowers, games, etc. in case it started to rain. We were ready, and Tim and I were deliriously happy anyway, so rain or no rain, we were ready to celebrate.

We'd been partying for almost an hour when the storm hit. For twenty minutes, we had watched it come closer, hoping that it would miss us, fearing it wouldn't. Tim and I were just getting ready to cut the cake and were moving down the line of guests when the wind picked up. Jen and Dominique (the creator of the cake) rushed it indoors, and as soon as the first raindrops fell, Tim yelled out, "Battle stations!" His brother Christian heard him and spread the word. Thirty seconds later, the tables were cleared of decorations, the electronic equipment was inside, the gifts had been rescued, and Tim and I stood outside in the rain laughing.

Sometimes when I think back on our reception, I get sad that we didn't get to have our first dance outside under the twinkling lights and have a "dance minute" with our friends and siblings. I'm sad that we don't have any pictures from the second half of the reception, which kept going inside. I'm sad that things got crazy and the beautiful backyard couldn't be enjoyed more. Somedays I walk a fine line between loving those moments and feeling like our reception was ruined by the rain.

But this week and today, I have been so happy remembering the way the photographer didn't have time to take any pictures of everything going inside because it happened too fast; the way Tim and I found a way to have our first dance anyway, wet and crowded in the living room; how I still got to greet friends and family; how my family (both old and new) pulled together to make everything work; how the sunset as Tim and I drove over the hill into Salt Lake was the most breathtakingly gorgeous colors I have ever seen. Rain or no rain, it was a great day.

Some pictures to enjoy:


The beautiful backyard and pergola (?) with the impending storm


The stormhead as it rolled in....Amazing, right?


Jen and Dominique rescuing the cake


Cutting the cake inside


Our beautiful, supportive, slightly soaked family

Blogging because....

...well, because. Because I write to process and express. Because it seems like fun. Because I like this method of keeping in touch with other people. Because there is a community of bloggers out there and I can't resist the allure of being part of a group, especially that group. Because I've had a hard time writing in my journal lately. Because I love looking at others' blogs during work. Because Tim said he wouldn't mind and blessed the web address and title. Because it's a place to be creative. Because...well, because I want to.

So, with that introduction and defense of this blog, I write for whoever is listening, and knowing the vastness of the interent, I'm sure there is someone.