What I am doing with my life one year after graduation

It's been a year since I was in Pittsburgh, proudly (and carefully) walking across the Chatham gym floor to shake hands with the President of the University and receive my diploma holder. One since I cheered for myself and my classmates, and got teary as my husband and parents cheered for me. One year since I saw my graduate school friends and professors, one year since I said goodbye (again) to my beautiful green campus and basked in the humidity of Pittsburgh.

It's been a good year since then. Very busy, but very good. I quit my job, got three new jobs, went on several road trips to Torrey and California, welcomed a new brother-in-law and two nieces, started paying back my student loan, got accepted for publication, and saw my name in print on the masthead of several magazines as a member of the Editorial Staff.

It seems like a lot in one year, and it was, but at the same time, I feel like I haven't made any progress as a writer. Except for work and this blog, I'm afraid I've been very remiss at keeping up with my writing habits and talents. Now that I'm on the brink of having only one job, I have been contemplating what to do with my extra time. I have so many things I'd like to do -- you know, like exercise every morning, practice the piano, do more sewing projects, clean my house -- but at this year milestone, I'm feeling like I should make writing a part of my days. It's something I don't want to lose. I have a creative writing blog that is sad and neglected, and I think I need to give it a little more attention.

My graduation last year was such a proud moment. A triumph, a celebration of everything I had been working towards. The accomplishment of something that was very hard, something that I chose to finish even when I could have excused myself with distance, marriage, and a full-time job. This sounds silly, but I want to make that shining moment proud. I want to follow through with the promise of that day. Otherwise, what was it, other than a piece of paper in a diploma holder?

I feel like I post semi-frequently about creativity, about how I need it or how I find it, or just about it in general. But for all my advocacy, I sure don't follow through very well. I feel the creative urges and I blog about them, and then I fall back into my usual patterns of not-enough-time and too-much-to-do. Good excuses, but not good reasons for neglecting this part of myself. Maybe this time will be different.

Graduation

Yesterday was my last official day of class...ever. I'm finally, completely, thoroughly, one hundred percent-ly done with school, possibly forever. (I reserve the right to go back if I want to...someday.) It's a strange feeling to be done, to know that I may never be a student again, that all my time spent in classrooms from here on out will be in a teaching capacity, that I can no longer mark "student" when asked for my occupation. It's exhilarating and freeing and forlorn at the same time.

In a week or so, school will start up again at BYU and UVU, and I will not be one of the many people buying books, checking my class schedule, reading syllabuses, and resigning myself to another semester of homework and classes. I've been going to school every September since I was 5 years old, and I just turned 24. I've been a student for the last 19 years, and except for the past year when I was also a wife and full-time employee, that was one of my primary identifiers. That word, "student," defined so much about me, and without it, I feel a little unsure of myself.

At the same time, I can't help but rejoice in my freedom and make plans for my newly-open evenings and weekends: learning how to bake bread, finishing that quilt Tim and I started a year ago, organizing photos into photo albums, reading the two dozen or so books that I own but have never read. Yes, I think I may really enjoy not being in school. And of course, I'll be supporting Tim as he slogs through another semester, which will probably make it easier not to miss being in school myself.

I was able to go to my graduation in May in Pittsburgh, thanks to my wonderful and generous parents. Tim and I and my parents flew out a few days early and I got to show them all around the city I called home for a year. We had a lot fun, in spite of the rain (which, really, only completed the true Pittsburgh experience). We ate a ton of really good food (Pamela's, anyone?) and shopped and visited my campus and picked up the bound copies of my thesis. I read at the MFA Graduate Student Reading and visited with old friends and professors. And then Sunday May 23, I went to my graduation where I wore a gown with funny sleeves and a green and purple hood, and I took time to celebrate and be proud of myself. Maybe that's a strange thing to say, but when the President of the University declared us graduated and all the family and friends stood as they clapped and cheered for us, I got teary-eyed as it hit me--I did it. I got my Master's degree. I worked so hard, especially during the year I was also working full-time and writing my thesis, and to have my parents and husband--the people who knew exactly what that degree cost me--stand and clap for me and my accomplishment and all it represented...wow. It was one of the highlights of my life, a moment I don't think I'll ever forget.

Going to my graduation was the perfect celebration. Having a bound copy of my thesis on my bookshelf is just amazing. Being done with my last summer class is so relieving. I did it. It's done, and more than anything else, I am so grateful.