First thing to know is that I planned on doing a natural childbirth. It's something I thought a lot about and I really wanted - I wanted to be able to be fully present for the birth of my baby. Tim and I did the Hypnobabies home course and it was awesome. The relaxation techniques really helped me stay calm and positive throughout my pregnancy instead of being an anxious basket case all the time. I felt prepared and was ready to do it.
Because I had been measuring small and every ultrasound showed that the baby was a little small, we expected that I'd be a late. When I hit 41 weeks, we went to the hospital for a nonstress test and ultrasound. Everything checked out just fine, but one of the midwives I'd been seeing (let's call her Carrie) happened to be at the hospital so she came in and talked to me about getting induced. She wasn't my favorite person to work with before that, but then she threw out things like "increased chance of stillbirth" and "the baby's getting bigger and your pelvis is only so big." Fun things like that. I had to be really insistent that I didn't want to be induced, especially because the only reason for it was that I was overdue - there were no actual medical concerns. I knew it would be much harder to have a natural birth if I didn't go into labor on my own, so I told her no. I was very proud of myself for speaking up, especially when if felt like Carrie was trying to scare me.
I went back two days later (Wednesday) for another nonstress test. The ultrasound was fine and I thought the nonstress test was too, but then Carrie came in and told me they were seeing some variables on the test. The baby's heart rate was dropping slightly when I was contracting, which indicated she could be in some stress. It wasn't an emergency, but it was a concern. Carrie told me that I needed to be induced and even started talking about keeping me there overnight. I asked to just come back in the next morning, and she agreed - I'm pretty sure it's the only reason she let me leave the hospital. Now that I'm not in the moment, I can see why she was so insistent but at the time, I felt manipulated and scared and heartbroken that I wouldn't be allowed to go into labor on my own. I went home to Tim with a 6:30 induction scheduled for the next morning, but as we talked (and I cried) and processed, we felt strongly like it was all for the best, especially since the midwife I liked the most, Dena, was on call the next day so I wouldn't have to deal with Carrie. We let my doula (and best friend since high school ) Natalie know and got ready and excited to have a baby the next day.
We went in late the next morning because I elected to sleep in a little (and Dena didn't come on call until 9 am). Dena started me on a cervix softener around 9:30 since I was still just at a 1, and since you have to wait four hours after a cervix softener is administered to start pitocin, we watched two episodes of Pushing Daisies while we waited. Dena came back and broke my water at noon, and the contractions started to pick up. In the process of moving around to find a comfortable position, I got really dizzy so I had to be in bed and on oxygen for most of the rest of the day. At two, they started up the pitocin. I think I would have been okay to labor naturally if I'd been able to move around and change positions, but the contractions were already pretty intense so I asked for some drugs in my IV to take the edge off. Mostly the drugs just made me sleepy but between that, the relaxing music I put on my iPod, and my Hypnobabies training, I breathed my way through the next three hours. I went from a 3 to an 8 in that time and was feeling "pushy," but I was already completely exhausted, both physically and mentally, so I asked for an epidural. Once that kicked in, I was able to take a nap for about an hour and a half, which was awesome and exactly what I needed.
When I woke up around 7 or so, I was (finally!) at a 10. We put on my "Feel Good" playlist to help wake me up and set the mood, and when Dena came in to get everything set up, we totally had a dance party. That's one of my favorite details of the day - I can't wait until Georgie is old enough to appreciate that there was literally dancing and singing when she was born! There were only six songs on the playlist (the rest of my music hadn't transferred for some reason) so we listened to them about four times while I pushed. After almost exactly an hour, Georgie was born a minute before 8:30 with lots of blonde hair. The cord was wrapped around her neck twice, but she wasn't ever in distress - her heart rate had stayed steady throughout the entire day, during the contractions and drugs and pushing, everything. She came through it all like a champ.
They put her up on my stomach right away and those first moments of holding her were indescribably surreal. I was so exhausted and so awake at the same time. I remember lots of people around us, lots of hands reaching in to wipe her off, cut the cord, etc., but they seemed so disembodied; I only had eyes and ears for her. Tim was the only other person in focus - the rest of the room was literally a blur. They cleaned her up and cleaned me up and when I finally got to hold her again, it was just incredible. I couldn't believe we were a family of three and I was holding the tiny person who had lived inside of me for all those months. And watching Tim hold his daughter and bond with her - priceless. He was (and is) so in love. These pictures aren't the best quality, but I love how much they capture the emotions of those moments,
And here are some more recent pictures of our sweet girl, just for fun:
This cute little dress is the only thing that actually fits her right now - she's still too little for her 0-3 month clothes.
Tim went to California for a few days for his brother's wedding and holding Georgie was the first thing he did when he got back.
This is the look we get when she's totally chilled out. When she purses her lips like that, it means she doesn't want anything else to eat. I think it's hilarious.
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