8 months (already?)

At 8 months, Georgie...

...likes: 
- walking (with help)
- glasses, especially when she gets to pull them off your face
- kicking everything/everyone
- playing with empty containers - tissue box, prescription bottle, cups, wipes packages, medicine packaging, paper bags, etc. etc. etc.
- drinking straight from a regular cup (no sippy cup)
- babbling
- cords of any kind
- walking on the piano
- being swaddled to sleep (still)
- going for walks in her stroller and going outside in general

...does not like:
- baby food, except for MAYBE sweet potatoes. MAYBE.
- having anything on her head (hoods, hats, headbands)
- being left alone for too long
- long car rides (found that out this last weekend)
- having her nails clipped
- medicine of any kind
- when I have to fish stuff out of her mouth

That's what she thinks of her hat

...is really good at:
- sitting up and scooting while she sits
- army crawling
- taking daytime naps (mostly)
- getting our attention loudly

Yep, she's holding my lip gloss and the bag dispenser for her dirty diapers, of which there is one in the foreground.

...is still figuring out:
- crawling (she's so close!)
- chewing and swallowing without choking
- sleeping at night
- pulling herself up to standing
- saying "Mama" and "Papa"

This was the only second time she pulled herself up from sitting to standing - she's so proud of herself!

...is a silly, sneaky, smart, noisy, playful, energetic, learning-too-fast, knows-what-she-wants little girl.

Liebster Award

My friend Lisa from Lisa the Lazy Blogger nominated me for a Liebster award. I hadn't heard of the Liebster award before, but I'm happy to play along! And can I just say that my life has been made better and infinitely cooler by Lisa? We've been friends since junior high and since I had no older sisters and Lisa had two, she passed on all kinds of wisdom and know-how. We braved choir and did lots of time-intensive projects together, and let me tell you, once you've done History Fair, those are bonds that can't be broken.

Here are the rules:
1. Post 11 random facts about yourself.
2. Choose deserving bloggers and tag them in your post.
3. Tell them you've tagged them.
4. Answer 11 questions the tagger has asked you and give 11 questions to the people you've tagged.
5. No tag backs.

11 Random Facts About Moi:
1. I have never had a cavity. Not ever. Go me!

2. My dad and I took basic skiing lessons one winter (Rachel and Ethan took snowboarding lessons) and I was terrible. I took some major falls, went over an embankment at the bottom of the hill at one point, and would generally go down the slopes yelling, "Beginner! Get out of the way!" Sometimes funny, mostly embarrassing. 

3. I love love love artichokes. 

4. When I was in elementary school, my favorite books were The Babysitter's Club series and I even got the author Ann M. Martin's autograph at a book signing. 

5. Though I work for a scrapbook magazine publishing company, I have never actually created a scrapbook page. I have made cards and mini albums and sewing projects, but actual scrapbooking, not so much.

6. I have no skills on the dance floor but dancing is the number one talent I wish I had.

7. Gilmore Girls is by far my favorite TV show and I can quote large quantities of it from memory.

8. I am not a very forward person, so I can count the number I've times I've really put myself forward to speak up for myself: one, when I cut to the front of a very long line to get a boarding pass at the LAX airport; two, when I called UVU to fight the late registration fee Tim was being unfairly charged; and three, when the midwife-who-shall-not-be-named wanted to induce me at 41 weeks. 

9. I completely by accident won first place in my sixth grade Field Day girls' shot put event.

10. Even when I have no use for them, I can't resist looking at and/or buying frames, purses, and baskets/bins/drawers/things you put other things in/etc. And now that I say that, I realize that frames and purses fall into that category too. I might be slightly organization-obsessed...

11. I did lots of theater in high school and the two experiences that had the most meaning to me were being a part of Les Mis and playing Miss Willie in The Curious Savage.

And questions to answer from Lisa:
1. Super power you wish you had? I have always wanted to fly, but now that I have a little Georgie, I think I'd like to be able to pack a full night's sleep into three hours. That would be amazing!

2. Favorite musical artist you're embarrassed to admit you love? I admit it, N*Sync is still so fun to listen to. Good memories.

3. If you had to re-live one year of your life, what would it be? This is such a tough question! I've had some great years - senior year of high school, senior year of college (including the trip to England the summer before), living in Pittsburgh... I'd probably choose 2011, the year we went on our California road trip and this time, I'd make sure we really live it up and enjoy life with just the two of us before it all changed with a baby.

4. Favorite flower? I love roses but since that's kinda boring, I'll say rhododendron bushes as well.

5. What are you reading right now? Chicken Soup for the New Mom Soul, actually. Cheesy but kinda fun for me right now.

6. Favorite ride at Disneyland/world? I haven't been to Disneyland since I was ten, but  I remember the Indiana Jones ride being my top pick.

7. Pet peeve? Disrespect in any form. It just makes me want to slap people around.

8. Dream church calling? I loved being in the Primary presidency in my last ward and would pick doing that again in a heartbeat!

9. Favorite chick flick? Pride and Prejudice in any form (6 hour, Kiera Knightly, Bollywood, LDS).

10. Skydiving - yes or no? Yes! I went skydiving when I was 19 and it was awesome. I'd call it a once in a lifetime experience because I don't think I'll ever spend the money to do that again, but I'm very glad I did it once!

11. Money is no object, where would you most like to spend a week? So many choices! Off the top of my head, I'd say...Italy! Mama mia!

Bloggers I'm choosing to award:
Rachel (my sister!) from Shooting The Moon
Crys from He's Got My Whole World In My Hands
Sarah from Adam, Sarah, Logan Xhejms
Arika from Life As We Know It...

Questions to answer:
1. Current favorite TV show?
2. If you could give one piece advice to your 18-year-old self, what would it be?
3. $1000 shopping spree to the store of your choice - where would you spend it?
4. Celebrity you most admire/want to be like?
5. What's the best thing you've ever eaten?
6. What one thing do you wish you could get paid to do?
7. What's your favorite to use - Facebook, Twitter, Pintrest, Instagram, or something else social media ish.
8. Best $10 you ever spent?
9. Favorite candy/dessert (the one you just can't say no to)?
10. What is one of the oddest things you remember vividly from your childhood?
11. What do you consider to be your best feature?

My experience with motherhood (so far)

Disclaimer: I realize that none of what I have to say is new or unique to me, but I know it's helped me to hear other mothers talk honestly about their struggles, so for what it's worth, here's my honesty.

My Mother's Day gift from Tim: matching skirts that he made with minimal help from me.

Mother's Day seems like a good day to finally put down some thoughts I've had about motherhood in the last oh, seven months or so. Mostly for me - writing helps me discover what it is I really want to say. 

Sometimes when I'm talking about Georgie to people I don't see often, they'll ask something like, "Don't you love being a mother?" or "Isn't it the best?" And I answer truthfully: "Sometimes." And sometimes it is, like when Georgie gives me kisses or cuddles or reaches for me or does something new and delightful; when a little head rests on my shoulder or tickling produces baby giggles; when I get enough sleep to have the energy to play and work and clean and win the nap time battles; and even sometimes when none of those things happen, being a mother to my little girl feels precious and natural and rewarding and is the best thing I could ever have asked for. And in all those moments, I absolutely love this new role of mine.

But a lot of times (I hate to admit this out loud but here's the truth), I haven't loved being a mother. A lot of those times are directly linked to the extreme lack of sleep that has gone on for all but about six weeks of the last seven and a half months; linked directly to feeling inept as I've struggled to figure out why in the heck my baby is fussing or won't sleep or won't eat; linked directly to books, experts, and blogs telling me that if I do this or that, all difficulties will disappear and yet they don't; and linked directly to me trying to catch up at work while mothering. 

I don't think any of these situations or feelings are unusual, which is why I feel like I shouldn't complain - this is just how it goes. And there are times when I do need to hear that from myself. This hard stuff? This is part of being a mother. This is why everyone says that being a parent is hard - because it is. But saying that having kids is hard is like saying water is wet to someone who has never experienced water before; sure, you know water is wet in an abstract way, but until you feel it, it doesn't actually mean anything. And knowing it's going to be hard ahead of time doesn't make it any less difficult or draining in the moment.

About two months ago, I read this blog post about motherhood on the Segullah blog, and I cried and cried to read someone else describe so accurately what I was feeling. I needed to hear that I wasn't alone in my feelings of frustration, loneliness, and even resentment at times. And I especially needed the reminder that motherhood is, in its essence, a sacrifice, and it's supposed to be - something I knew but hadn't connected to my day-to-day struggles.

I have since realized, though, that I don't have to sacrifice all of myself to being a mother; in fact, I shouldn't. I embraced this role and relationship so entirely that I felt/still feel like I have lost parts of myself to it, but embracing the other parts of me will actually make me a better mother by making me a more balanced person. And I want that, for me and for my kids. I want them to see that they can be many things at once, that there aren't limits to who they can be - that choosing one role or one life doesn't have to be to the exclusion of all others.

There was one night a few weeks ago when I was rocking my screaming baby to sleep for the umpteenth time that night that I found myself trying to remember why I wanted to be a mother. (Yes, it was a low moment.) Every answer I came up with didn't feel right. Because I wanted to nurture? To teach? Well, yes, but that wasn't it. Then with a little praying and a few tears, my perspective changed, and instead of wondering what I was hoping to get out of being a mother, I saw my role as a parent in an eternal light. My purpose is to bring some of Heavenly Father's spirit children into this world, give them bodies, and help them find the path back to Him. In that sense, I am a caretaker of souls and am trying to help these little souls in their eternal progress, in a way that also helps me in my own eternal progress by stretching me and forcing me to grow.

I hope (and pray) I can come back to this moment of clarity when things get hard, as they do rather frequently. I hope I can keep this perspective with me so that when I have toddlers who throw tantrums or teenagers who give me sass, I will see past my own frustration to what my purpose really is. Do I want another baby? Truthfully, not right now. Ask me again when Georgie is sleeping through the night. Would I trade her or trade being a mother for anything? Not for the world. This is absolutely where I am meant to be right now. Do I wish it were a bit easier? Heck yes. Do I embrace the good with the hard? I'm trying. Does this make me a normal, everyday mom who is doing her best to figure this out? I think it does.