A green and pleasant land

Four years ago today, my life changed.

Four years ago today, I started hiking. It was really just a pleasant walk for the most part, except for the fact that I didn't have any food with me. I was in one of the most incredibly beautiful places I had ever seen, and I was with a group of relative strangers. Sure I knew their names, their faces, their voices, but I didn't know them yet. I remember trying to find the right words for what I was seeing--"beautiful" was quickly becoming overused, so I started a list: pretty, pastoral, stunning, splendid, lovely, breathtaking, serene, elegant, peaceful, dazzling, delightful, quaint, enchanting, gorgeous, incredible, picturesque, idyllic... Well, you tell me: what words would you use?






For years ago today, I started a study abroad trip with a group from BYU focused on literature and writing. Almost half of the group and I had flown into Edinburgh the day before, but today we met up with the rest of our group and our director in Glasgow. We drove to the trail head and started walking the 8 miles to our youth hostel that sat literally a stone's throw away from "the bonny, bonny banks of" Loch Lomond. We were supposed to stop for lunch halfway there, but John (our program director) didn't meet us with the food and we ended up hiking the whole way sans food. It was definitely an adventure on the first day of our adventure.

I don't know how to explain what that trip was, or how it changed me. For two months, I wrote and hiked and read and thought. I questioned myself, I learned how to listen to and understand people, I went out of my comfort zone, and I made friends. As a writer, I developed my voice and style, and found questions that I am still exploring. My views and perceptions were widened; my stereotypes were challenged. And I had a ton of fun. I mean, holy cow, I'm still quoting that trip.

It wasn't all good, of course. There were days that I was tired, cranky, and easily annoyed (as were my classmates). Things didn't always go well, and I spent half of the trip trying not to stress out about sticking to the planned schedule. But for the most part, it was the amazing, beautiful, incredible journey--both literally and figuratively--that I needed and wanted. As a person, as the person that I have become and hope to continue to be, I began to grow and change four years ago today. It's a sort of birthday for me, in that sense.

Part of me wishes I could go back, but I know that I can never recreate that experience. So instead, I get incredibly nostalgic for the goodness that was the 2007 BYU England & Literature Study Abroad, and I let my heart remember what it was like to be in that green and pleasant land. Please indulge me if I post pictures from that trip every week and reminisce--it does my England-loving heart good.

Back from North Carolina

After a delayed flight, a missed flight, a night in a Chicago airport, and a traffic jam on the freeway, we have returned. Warmer, wiser, and more wistful for the gorgeous green and moisturizing humidity of the East. Though the journey home was a little over-eventful, it was a great trip. Tim got to spend time with his granddad, who has been very sick for the last six months or so, and I got to not only get to know this set of grandparents, but I also met two of Tim's uncles and their families. It was so much fun to see the interactions of these family members that I didn't even know I had and spend a fairly low-key weekend with amazing weather.

Some photos:
Tim and Granddad


The gorgeous backyard


Dogwood tree flowers


Dad Herrick (on the right) with two of his brothers (Uncle Tom being appropriately silly)


Easter dinner on the deck


Tim's cousins Cate, Katherine, and Grace and their frosting mess


Me driving the Mercedes (I had to take a picture, because this will probably never happen again...)


Dinner on our last night there

And away we go

If I had to write a children's book today, it would be called "Kate and the Stressful, No-Good, Very Bad Day." It was one of those days that started out badly, got a little better, then got a lot worse, and then just kind of exploded. Or maybe that was me. I just about went crazy trying to get things done today, and in the end, I did not accomplish even half of what was on my list. The upside to the whole day? Buying new clothes. I'm telling you, retail therapy is now very high on my list of ways to decompress after work (sorry, Tim!).

The other silver lining of the day is the promise of no work for five days. Tim and I are going to North Carolina tomorrow to visit Tim's grandparents tomorrow for the weekend. Granddad has not been in good health for a while, and we're going out to spend some time with him and Grandmom. I don't really know what to expect since I have only met this set of grandparents one other time, but I am very excited to be back East.

But because I'm going to be out of town, I had to get my classes covered at the elementary school and then I worked like crazy to get enough done at the writing job that I could go without leaving everyone else in the lurch. I didn't quite reach that goal, which was monumentally frustrating, but when it got to be 9:00 pm and I was still at the office, I said no more, I'm going shopping. Naturally, the cleaning I meant to do still isn't done, and the packing is in a state of halfway, but there is something so relieving about declaring yourself done and leaving work at work. I didn't do all I set out to do today (starting with waking up on time...oops), but I did what I could and now I am done. It's not my problem for five more days, and I'm not thinking about what will be waiting for me when I get back.

It's not exactly a vacation, but I'm going on a trip and I intend to enjoy it. And on some days, especially the bad ones, that's the only response left.

See you next week!

A singing heart

Last night as I left work, I was pretty discouraged. Since I didn't have to go teach at Sylvan, I ended up working until almost 8:30 and I still didn't get everything done that I needed to. I really do love my job, in part because I am so needed here, but sometimes there are too many things that need to get done and not enough time, and that can be frustrating.

When I walked out of the office building, the rain clouds had scooped up the leftover evening light and it was nearly dark. The air was chilly, but when I took a deep breath, I noticed that it smelled like rain--not a cold, winter rain, but a refreshing spring rain. Still cold, but not freezing, which is definitely an improvement. I noticed how green the grass is getting and the tiny buds on some of the trees. I tried to un-tense my shoulders and leave work and work stress at the office.

Then I heard birds. More than one. Calling to each other. Flitting from tree to tree. And I thought, What are they doing out? Don't they realize it's dark? Maybe they're confused. And then I thought, maybe they don't care. Maybe they noticed the grass and the buds and didn't care that it was dark--they wanted to sing anyway.

(Are you catching my "aha" moment yet?)

By the time I got to my car, I was visibly less stressed. I took deep breaths of the moist air, I thought about spring and how much I love it, and I tried not to care about the things that could upset me.

I wish that were the end of the story--nicely wrapped together with a pretty "moral of the story" bow. But truth be told, I tried to be positive and not to care and didn't succeed. By the end of the night, I was tired, the dishes weren't done, and I was discouraged again. Don't we all have days like that? I hope so.

But I've been thinking about those birds and the idea of singing regardless of the circumstances--they stayed with me. I wish I could be like those birds--I wish I had a song to sing, even when it's dark out. I remembered a song I sang in the BYU Women's Chorus one year called "The Pilgrim's Song." The last line of each verse was just beautiful:

And as I pass along
I'll live a joyful song;
I'm going to sing forever.

I loved the switch between "live" and "sing"--instead of "sing a joyful song" and "live forever", there is this beautiful image of living a song, making it alive and making your life music, and then by singing forever, living forever. I love that, and I've been thinking, I can do that. Maybe not today, definitely not yesterday during my no-good, very bad day, and maybe not all the time...but. But I can and I will sing even when it's dark. I'll find my heart, even on the dark days.

James Bond's got nothin' on us

Saturday night was the birthday party for my dear friend Manda, and it was uh-MAZEing! We've all been watching Alias lately, so it was decided to have a spy-themed party. We dressed up, picked code names, had a good dinner, and then...the mission began!

We each received a mission debriefing and split into two groups. We each had to gather clues and track down evidence while remaining covert and undetected. One group found an envelope taped to the back of a bus stop with clues telling them to go to the BYU library; my group retrieved a jacket from the lost & found at Macey's grocery store and headed to Costco. From there we were all over Provo and Orem! We all went back to headquarters (my friend Jen's apartment), had to try and crack the code to get a briefcase open, Tim (who was our op tech guy) had to decode an email from the bad guy we were trying to stop, and we discovered my brother-in-law Matt was a mole and had the crucial piece of information we needed to put together the code that would stop the bomb from going off. Whew! It was so much fun, and so intense once the countdown started and we had only 10 minutes to save the world!

Everything was engineered by my brother-in-law Rob, with a bunch of help from Tim, and it was so awesome. Of course there were a few glitches here and there (like Costco closing early on Saturdays...who knew?), but overall, it was seriously the most fun I've had in a long time.

And now, a ton of pictures:

Trying to open the briefcase


I slipped on some mud while sneaking around outside, so Valerie taped me up. It did actually hurt to fall, but we had lots of fun shouting "Agent down! Agent down!"


Tim (code name Marshall) trying to decode a corrupted email file


We suspected Matt was the mole and Valerie took it upon herself to keep him in custody.


Then it was confirmed Matt was the mole and Christian and Tim attacked him! I love this action shot. If you look closely, you can see Tim's tie.


Finally we were successful in terminating the countdown with about 3 seconds to spare (in true spy-movie fashion).


This is what the floor looked like when we were done--cards with clues to the code, air soft guns just lying around, the original mission debriefing letter, and all our scribbling as we tried to decipher the clues.


And naturally, the night ended with a Mexican standoff. (Code names, from the bottom left corner and moving counterclockwise: Zed, Marshall, Forte, Freebush, Fallout, Omega Prime, and Black Sparrow. My code name was Cricut--ten points if you know why!)

Endings and beginnings

Today was a big day for me. Well, sort of. Today I taught my last ACT prep class with Sylvan Learning, and it feels great to be done. I really appreciated the job when it came along, and it's been a good teaching experience, and yes, it was only two to three hours out of my week, but I'm not sorry to have it end. Leaving my writing job to drive to American Fork during rush hour once a week has definitely not been my favorite thing to do. I'm really looking forward to having a more even schedule during the week and getting home before 8 on Tuesday nights. Mostly, it's something I was able to take off my plate and even though it's just a small amount of time that I've reclaimed, it makes me feel so much more in control.

And while I've been counting down to this ending, Tim has started counting down the days until the next big beginning...starting classes at UVU! After struggling with BYU's policies for classes, tuition, and grading for two years, we finally decided to make the switch, and I could not be more thrilled. School has been just awful for Tim, and consequently for me, and we both feel like UVU will be a much better fit. Their class schedules are much more flexible and Tim can walk to school now instead of leaving an hour early and praying for an open parking space (and sometimes not getting one--he has ever missed class because he couldn't find a parking space). He's going to start with the summer semester and go from there. We're still getting the details ironed out but we're both way excited for this new beginning.

Endings. Beginnings. Spring is definitely a time for change, and I'm so grateful that after winter we get this yearly opportunity to grow and make changes and clean out our lives, even if there is still snow on the mountains (an occasionally on our cars).

P.S. Happy 22nd birthday dear sister Rachel!